An Old Story and New Beginning
Sitting in silence, Robert damned himself for relapsing again. This was his fifth rehab. He knew what lay ahead: Twenty-eight days of very expensive AA meetings. While the admissions counselor completed the paper work, Robert spied a wall plaque:
Insanity: Continuing to do the same thing over and over while expecting different results.
Robert slumped deeper in his chair. He knew this definition well. He first heard it in a TV commercial for a treatment center. The tough-talking pitchman used it to demonstrate the “insanity” of repeated alcohol/drug use despite the seriously negative consequences. Robert agreed. If ever there was a word to describe his boozing, insanity was it. Drink after drink—the results were always the same—drunk after drunk.
Robert started thinking, but his thoughts were cut short. “Sign right here,” the counselor droned tapping a line with a pen. “We have your old room ready,” he said. Was that a half grin?
Pen in hand, Robert looked hard at the counselor.
“Anything wrong,” asked the counselor looking at his watch. I have three more just like you I need to process before lunch.”
“Hell yes,” Robert answered as he slammed down the pen. “Something’s very wrong. Insanity!” The counselor’s eyebrows rose.
Robert pointed to the plaque, “Doesn’t that definition apply to people who sell the same addiction treatment, over and over, but expect different results?” Robert was heading for rehab #5 and he knew others who had hit double digits. Treatment after treatment—the results were always the same—relapse after relapse. “Maybe we’re all crazy,” the counselor countered. “But we can be restored to sanity when we get treatment and start recovering.”
“Treatment! Recovery!” Robert cried out. “You’re gonna keep me here for a month, tell me I’m diseased and powerless, and then tell me to stick with AA, get a new sponsor, work The Program, and connect with some Higher Power."
"I have a better idea,” said Robert, heading for the door. “I’m quitting booze. And not one-day-at-a-time—I’m quitting for good.”
“That’s your disease talking,” the counselor said mechanically. “You can’t quit for good, none of us can. That’s why we’re always recovering—we need meetings.”
“No! That’s insane,” Robert shot back. “Just because we can’t prove we quit for good, doesn’t mean we have to be recovering for the rest of our lives. People quit cigarettes and knock off all kinds of addictions without treatment and meetings, don’t they? Maybe I can’t convince the world that I’m not drinking, but I can prove it to myself, and that’s what matters. You can live in recovery if you want to, but I’m through with boozing and recovery.”
The counselor blinked, squirmed and then stared at the unsigned paper as Robert walked out the door.~
The insanity definition used to target your compulsive behavior also fits the compulsive behavior of people who recycle you through the same treatment, despite its consistent failure. Their “insanity” looms larger once you discover that you can quit for good. It’s clear that a new definition is called for:
Insanity: 12-Step Addiction Treatment and lifelong “recovery,” that is, doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results despite its lack of efficacy and obvious negative, and sometimes deadly, consequences.
Studies clearly show that nearly 80% of people who quit booze and other drugs do so without any treatment. But misguided addiction counselors and therapists ignore this fact to keep you on the treatment treadmill and forever “recovering.” They profit by ineffectively treating a nonexistent “disease.” Worse, even though they view alcoholism/addiction as a disease, their “treatment” consists of spiritual/religious indoctrination. Even they admit that this cures nothing. Instead, they claim, that with divine help you’re granted a one-day-at-a-time addiction reprieve.
It’s important to note that AA and the 12-step approach of addiction treatment are not exactly the same. In theory, AA meetings are supposed to be independent, self-supporting, and not associated with any sect, denomination or institution. While a rehab/hospital may bring in AA speakers and provide meeting room space, unless rehab/hospital staff step outside their professional roles as counselors and supervisors and participate as recovering alcoholics or drug addicts, they cannot run AA sanctioned meetings in their facilities. If staff members run meetings in their professional capacity, and not as recovering alcoholics or addicts, they are technically running 12-step meetings, which are effectively the same as AA meetings except that donations are not requested.
Having made this distinction, be aware that I will use the terms AA meetings and 12-step meetings interchangeably.
Pop-psychology and faith healing have been highly profitable for ages. One form they take is that of alcohol/drug treatment. As an alternative to this, Overcoming Your Alcohol, Drug and Recovery Habits presents the easily understood methods used by people who have successfully quit addictions/dependencies on their own. You can quit for good—without therapists, counselors, rehabs, sponsors and a lifetime of recovery meetings.
For Good?
If you’re seeking a healthier, more contented way of life free from the bondage of booze, quitting for good makes sense. Yet, please note that many alcohol abusers, even alcoholics, beat their booze problem by learning to moderate. Some will do this on their own; others will seek support through moderation counselors/therapists or moderation programs.
Moderation Programs, though, are anathema to the disease theory advocates. “Alcoholics” aren’t supposed to be able to control their drinking—ever. According to disease theory dogma, one drink sets the “craving” phenomenon into motion, leading to yet another drinking debacle. Yet the mere existence of organizations such as Moderation Management, Drink/Link and DrinkWise provides powerful evidence that their members have found a successful alternative to abstinence.
For some people however, the strict drinking guidelines of moderation programs are so demanding, it’s simply easier for them to stay away from booze altogether. Many adjust to moderation with relative ease. Those who cannot, in the spirit of self-interest, often decide to quit for good. In fact, those who initially set a moderation goal and fail to achieve it often do succeed at abstaining, once they decide to do so.
While I’ve written Overcoming Your Alcohol, Drug and Recovery Habits for anyone who wants to quit drinking or abusing other drugs entirely, this is a book about choices. You are free to try these programs and decide if moderation is a viable option for you. Please see Appendix B for more information on moderation.
Key Words
Language used in the addiction field is laden with caveats and often lead to serious misunderstandings. Such polarizing labels as “alcoholic,” “alcohol abuser,” “alcohol dependent,” “heavy drinker,” “chemically dependent,” “drug addict,” “drug dependent” and “drug abuser” contribute to the myths surrounding substance addiction and how to overcome it. This book exposes these myths and provides insights into many recovery buzzwords.
You don’t have to label yourself to quit for good—you are much more than an “alcoholic,” or a “drug addict.”
Please familiarize yourself with the following key words:
Addiction: Compulsive and overwhelming involvement with a specific activity. Continuing this behavior despite knowing the severe personal and social havoc. The activity may be gambling, Internet surfing or may involve the use of almost any substance. Physically addictive substances such as tobacco and heroin can cause either psychological dependence or both psychological and physical dependence.
Addict: A person actively practicing addiction.
Alcoholic: A person actively addicted to alcohol.
Alcoholism: A behavior/lifestyle characterized by a tendency to drink more than was intended, unsuccessful attempts at stopping drinking and continued drinking despite adverse social, personal and occupational consequences.
Chemical Dependence: A state of psychological or physical dependence, or both, categorized by a withdrawal syndrome. You experience physical or psychological reactions, or both, when the drug/alcohol is discontinued.
Traditional Recovery: Remission from the hypothetical disease alcoholism/addiction—a state of tentative sobriety. Maintaining this requires the guidance of sponsors and a Higher Power acquired through membership in 12-step groups. These groups, sponsors and Higher Powers provide a spiritual force, which keeps this allegedly incurable, progressive disease at bay.
Traditional Treatment: A procedure that uses the 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous to minister to a hypothetical progressive disease (alcoholism/addiction) that cannot be cured. Treatment can be either in-patient or outpatient and is intended to lead the client to a tentative state of sobriety called “recovery.” Such treatment teaches the patient to “work the program,” aided by sponsors and the wisdom, courage and serenity patients receive from supernatural forces, that is, a Higher Power. Follow-up treatment termed “aftercare” reinforces the clients’ powerlessness and perceived need for Divine help.
Now let’s introduce two new important terms:
Discovery: Living life free from addiction, recovery and treatment. No steps, sponsors, counselors, rehabs, meetings or program to work. You decide for yourself how you will live your life. This means freedom to experience and live life on your terms.
Self-Discovered: A term describing people who learn, or intuitively know, how to quit and stay away from alcohol, other drugs and other addictions. Anyone can learn to do this, despite the damage caused by prior addiction treatment and recovery group (AA) involvement.
Know these abbreviations. They are detailed in Chapter 1:
ATI: Addiction Treatment Industry
RGM: Recovery Group Movement
Throw Away the Training Wheels
Alcohol is a socially accepted drug, so it is culturally set apart from other illegal drugs. Wine-tastings and cocktail hours are common social events. But pharmacologically, alcohol is a drug, just as heroin, cocaine and methamphetamine are drugs. Unless I refer to the drug alcohol specifically, the words “alcohol” and “drug” are interchangeable. You’ll also see “alcohol/drugs,” which means “alcohol and other drugs.”
Through research, personal experience and information gathered from others who have quit on their own, I have acquired the techniques you’ll need to remain alcohol/drug/recovery-free for the rest of your life. Once you discover what you’re actually up against, quitting alcohol and other drugs will become a learned skill well within your ability, like learning to ride a bicycle. Yes, you’ll be a bit wobbly at first, but once you’ve learned—it’s over! There’s no need for daily practice—or one-day-at-a-time recovery. Best of all, this automatic skill is there when you need it—which will be less and less often because addiction and recovery-free living become self-perpetuating. And with addictions out of the way, “living life on life’s terms,” to quote AA, is not the meeting after meeting recovery process it’s made out to be.
Discovering rather than recovering gives you two more gifts, freedom and time— no more “working the program” and bouncing from meeting to meeting, from sponsor to counselor. You can now live your own life. Spiritual and self-improvement projects are not required to quit any addiction. They will be your choice to pursue when you want, with whom you want, and if you want— not because you have to pursue them as the means to get and stay sober.
This Is Your Moment
People overcome addictions every day. They were doing it long before Alcoholics Anonymous and today’s addiction experts began telling them they couldn’t. America’s multi-billion-dollar addiction treatment industry (ATI) stresses, “You can’t do it alone” and “Treatment Works.” If treatment works so well, why do people check into rehab four, five, six times and more? Why are we constantly reading about sports stars and other celebrities heading toward the same dismal fate, over and over. How can you avoid a similar destiny? In truth, the ATI’s catch phrase, “treatment works,” means, “treatment rarely works.”
Overcoming Your Alcohol Drug and Recovery Habits answers the preceding questions, taking a hard look at the addiction treatment industry and its problematic solution for what is touted as a disease: alcoholism/addiction. The goal of this book is twofold: to help you achieve freedom from lifelong addiction and from recovery.
Because of AA’s overpowering presence in the addiction/recovery field, revealing its ineffectiveness is necessary. This book makes clear the damage from the “It’s our way, or the highway” crusade.
Undoubtedly, recovery traditionalists will cry, “AA bashing” while denying the truth. But perhaps, just perhaps, they will finally face reality:
All truth passes through three stages:
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.
-Arthur Shopenhauer-
Until 12-step traditionalists break through their denial, they will question my character, not my message. They will brand me a charlatan, a book-selling profiteer, and they will ignore the fact that I’m offering people a solid way out of addiction.
In fairness though, for those it does help, AA is a beacon of hope, something they wouldn’t trade for the world. These folks go on to lead sober, productive lives and are happy in the fellowship. People from all walks of life, all religions—even no religion—wouldn’t trade their affiliation with AA for the world. They find it a satisfying way of life. But countless individuals are not as fortunate. For those in need of alternative recovery methods, this book may well be their beacon of hope. The point is that AA offers a recovery program, which for most people is the wrong program. It doesn’t help them. For this reason, alternatives must be considered. It’s time to recognize some of harsher truths behind the AA message. To deny anyone an alternative is to deny him or her the chance for a sober, fulfilling life.
I’ve written Overcoming Your Alcohol, Drug and Recovery Habits for those suffering in ineffective addiction treatment programs and recovery groups. It’s for those who want to end his or her addictive behaviors now, not attend meetings for the rest of their lives. The family and friends of substance abusers will also benefit as they learn what they can do to help themselves along with helping their addicted loved one. You are about to embark on an empowering journey of discovery that recovery cannot give you. Learn form the real treatment experts: people who have quit addictions on their own. Like them, you will learn to be free from addiction and recovery.
If you want to quit booze/drugs for good, this book is for you. If you’re considering quitting, this book will help you decide.
There’s no need to recover —It’s time to Discover.
—James DeSena
July, 2002
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